Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Day 16: I'm eating junk and watching rubbish! You better come out and stop me!

Day 16: Something That Stresses You Out

Staying Home Alone.

Okay, to share a bit of an embarrassing side of my personality today, I've finally accepted the fact that the older I get, the more of a scaredy cat I become.

I've always been a bit of a wimp when it comes to staying home alone, but it's gotten progressively worse over the past few years. In college, it didn't bother me much. But it was after I moved back home, met and married Handsome that I have become a full blown, all out pansy when it comes to staying overnight by myself. J tells me about a trip he's going to have to go out of town for, and I turn into a clingy, blubbering, crying, ball of childish emotion. Okay. maybe it's not quite that bad, but it's pretty dern close (J will probably tell you it is that bad.) And then I quickly get on the phone and start calling all my closest family and friends that know I'm a big fat baby, and start scheduling nights that I'm going to borrow their guest room, because I'm a 27 year old, grow woman, who cannot stay home alone without practically peeing in her pants at the thought of it.

We have three dogs, yes. But 2 of them are under 20 pounds, and the big one that's 90 lbs. and would conceivably be the one to "defend our house" is deaf, blind, and dumb and would sooner play handshake with an intruder than bite them in their boy parts and save the day.

We have neighbors, but not the kind that are so close in proximity to us that you could pass a cup of sugar back and forth through the kitchen windows. So there's a good chance, they would be unable to hear me scream.

Plus the house is in the woods. Plus we live right off the highway. Plus we live in America, in the 21st Century, and there are all kind of crazies out there.

We are a household that proudly takes advantage of our Right to Bear Arms. But it's hard to shoot an intruder in the dark. Plus, I'd probably be sleeping when they grab me anyway, so my gun wouldn't be very useful at that point.

I know that this fear is cultivated by the fact that the only shows on t.v. I watch are crime dramas. I'm a big Law & Order (all of them), CSI, and Bones fan. (I also love Jersey Shore... Snookie is a trainwreck, that likes pickles, and bad fake tans, and she

I have tried staying home alone. And in fact, have done it on multiple occasions. But, I.don't.sleep. I sit up in bed, with the door barricaded, boobie traps set up, tiki-belle (my 20 lb. dog who has the most ferocious growl of the 3) in my lap, surrounded by various self-defense paraphernalia, (you know numb-chucks, and throwing stars, and all that good stuff), 911 dialed into the phone just waiting on me to hit "send", listening for any noise that means there must be somebody in the house with me. <----Oh good times.

Yes, I'm a I'm not proud of it you know. Some people just love being home alone. Nobody to tend to, make meals for, clean up after. Peace, quiet, and solitude. I get it. And I like that too, until the sun goes down.

Have you seen the movie The Strangers? No? Well, let me just tell you. The couple in that movie get tortured and left to die, just...because...they...were...home..... I'M HOME ALL THE TIME. OMG. I feel the hair on my skin standing up as we speak.

Anyway. Today's post is about "something that stresses you out"

Something that stresses me out?

Being home alone. Jason just left for a 5 day fishing trip. perfect.


  1. LOVE this post and i "used" to be the same but now getting the entire bed to myself (especially since I've been sick) is quite a luxury. I'll miss Stephen about day 3 when his scent is gone from my pillow~


  2. I feel that way about camping. Have you seen House of WAX!!! they coat Paris Hilton in wax while she is alive. That is why i don't camp. if i was a serial killer that is were i would go to find people!