Friday, January 20, 2012

Baby Mine - 2 Months

Jolie turned 2 months on Thursday, the 19th. Um, excuse me, but how did that happen? It was just last week that I was getting up at night every 2.5 minutes to go to the bathroom, fighting the acid reflux with giant bottles of tums, couldn't see my feet, or get in and out of the car without "heave ho-ing" myself out of my seat. Wasn't it? Actually, it's no wonder I have absolutely no sense of time these days. Everything just kind of runs together now. I guess that's what happens when said 2 month old wakes up to: eat, spit-up, 'talk' (
ie. grunt, groan, blow bubbles), poop, cry, play the stimulating game of 'put paci in, spit paci out', all.night.long. I'm back to work now, which adds an even more exciting element to the new mommy game. I pretty much stay in a state of moderate to severe delirium depending on the day. But I'm still trying to just take in every moment, because in the larger scheme of things, I know these days are fleeting, and one day I'll look back, and really wonder where the time went.

wearing mommy's bonnet

Dear J-bird,
You are two months old. And I didn't think it was possible, but daddy and I love you even more than we did the moment we first saw your precious face. Some things haven't changed in the past month, you still keep mommy up most of the night, and you still spit up, a.lot. Between you and your daddy, my pretty pink couch is pretty much ruined. Daddy likes to drop food on it when he's eating dinner in front of the t.v., and you like to projectile vomit
your dinner all over it when daddy goes to burp you. For some reason we had a delayed response to the fact that it happened every time, and now keep the cushions covered with blankets when we feed you on it. Daddy sometimes forgets though, but it's okay I would take you over a pretty pink couch any day of the week.
Especially because now you are cooing!!! It startled me the first time you did it. I was changing your diaper, and you looked right at me, and made the sweetest little sound that I've ever heard. You don't do it very often, maybe once or twice a day, so it's such a surprise and treat when you do it. Daddy and I crack up every time we hear you. And argue as to which one of us you are telling 'i love you' to! You also move your mouth in such a way that it looks like at any second your are just going to spout off a couple of sentences.
When you hit about 6 weeks you found your tongue, and when you are wide awake that little thing is just poking in and out of your mouth constantly. It makes our hearts so happy to see you discover your world.
Another first, is you are now crying real tears. For the most part, it's still just a lot of noise when you cry. But every once in awhile, when you are really upset with something
(usually mommy taking too long before she feeds you), big ole crocodile tears squeeze out between your lashes, and it's just the most pitiful thing. They are usually accompanied by the most woebegone little frown, that just makes mommy and daddy feel so bad for you, but we usually still giggle because it's the cutest thing at the same time.
You still have most of your hair, but you seem to be getting more of a receding hairline. Looking more and more like daddy every day! Haha. It's getting thinner, but still dark and lovely.
Mommy finally broke down and put you on your tummy to sleep. This was a biggie for me. I don't know why I've been so worried or against it. I suppose it's because ALL the baby books, doctors, etc. say to put you on your back. But when you think about it, there is no animal in God's great kingdom that sleeps on it's back. I can't do it, so why do we think you will sleep comfortably doing it? You didn't. You're still up a lot, but I've seen a difference in how quickly you fall asleep when I put you down for bed. I think it helps with your reflux too.
Ah, acid reflux. How I loathe thee. I had it the whole time I was pregnant, and it was miserable, so if your reflux is even half of what I had, I hurt for you. You were diagnosed as a 'classic reflux baby' at 7 weeks, and put on medicine. I don't know how much it is helping because you still have screaming fits that the doctor said was caused by the reflux, so we may have to up your dose or change meds completely. We have your 2 month check up next week, so we'll find out more then.
Here's a fun fact. After two months of giving you a paci, mommy figured out that you've been sucking on a toddler pacifier (parents of the year, right here man!). I didn't even look at the packaging when I opened it up several days after we brought you home. I hope it doesn't mess up your sweet, pretty mouth. Another thing to ask the doctor. I tried giving you a new one that is made for a newborn, but you just kind of moved it around in your mouth and spit it out, and gave me a 'what exactly are you trying to pull lady?' look.
Your eyes are a dark, steely grey color, but I'm pretty sure they will stay dark and turn brown or hazel like mommy and daddy's. Your face shape is changing little by little. We think you look like daddy from the eyes up, and mommy from the nose down. And you still have the cutest little double chin (you get that from mommy too, yours is way cuter though!). Your legs are long, with just a roll or two up on your thighs, and your sweet little hands have dimples on the knuckles. Your lashes are long, but light in color, and your eyebrows are finally starting to darken up a little. Your fingernails are razor blade sharp and last week you swiped mommy on the cheek accidentally and drew blood! You've cut yourself several times, and even made the inside of your ear bleed like mad at one point. We nearly had a heart attack before we realized it was just a tiny scratch, and not some tragic injury of a sort that we were imagining when we first saw it.
The doggies and kitties are finally used to you. But Mr. Butler still gets upset when he hears you cry. I put Tiki-Belle up on the bed with us the other day, and she curled up at your feet. She's my love too, so I'm so glad that she seems to be taking to you more.
You're 2 months old, and lots and lots of changes my sweet girl.
All in all, you are a bright, shining, lovely, happy baby bird. Mommy's love, and daddy's pride & joy. We think we'll keep you.
Love you for always.

Monday, January 9, 2012

The 'Bird's' Nest

Since Handsome and I didn't find out that Jolie was a little lady until the moment the doctor put her in my arms, we couldn't really decorate her room until she got here. We decided on neutral colors beforehand, which were gray and yellow. We picked the wall color and Jason turned into superman and changed out the flooring on the second floor, including her room, and painted. We got the crib, and then we just had to wait around to finish the rest. I did order what I thought was a solid white crib bedding set, but when it came in, J opened it up and found out that there were tiny pink flowers all over the inside bumper and crib sheet. I thought about sending it back, but wound up deciding to keep it just in case... it was a sign!

Everything in her room but her bedding and a painting is used, borrowed, or handmade. And although I still for some reason tell people her room is 'gray & yellow', it's more accurately 'gray & every color in the rainbow'. There's no real theme, which I'm okay with because I'm not a boxed room kind of girl. I like more of an eclectic or whimsical look. There are a few more things that need to be completed, I still need to hang the custom birth announcement wall art that I made. And I'm still looking for the perfect yellow curtain to go on the window, a rug, and a red or yellow glider to replace the rocking chair. I also still have to get my dads old Boy Scout box and clean it up to use as her toy box under the window.... So, all in all, it's still a work in progress. It may be finished by the time she gets her drivers license.

The cow painting was the first purchase we made for the nursery. The few people that have seen it, have been "wow. a cow. in a nursery", but we love it. The 'M' was made for me by a sweet friend who threw us a beautiful baby shower.

I painted this chair 'ballet slipper pink' and recovered the seat with a pretty new fabric. The lamb I bought at the Goodwill for .50 cents. Double washed it, and it's good as new.
These little porcelain farm life figurines were in my room when I was a little girl. The table was given to me by a friend, and I changed out the original black knobs to give it a little more color.
The Texas & Georgia wall art I made
Gold frame and chicken wire display (made by my daddy) of "pretties". vintage purse, hankie, and kid gloves belonged to my Great-Grandmother
antique lamp, picture of Jolie's mommy and mumsey, & a book "A Southern Belle Primer"
Embroidery hoop + fabric makes for inexpensive & custom wall art

antique lamp base, with a pink shade & fabric rosettes I made for less than $5
vintage beaded coin purse collection. (still need pictures in several frames)
I purchased this sweet angel at a local boutique in town. I've had it for several years. It's like it was made for her nursery.

floral painting was painted by Joliet's Great-Great Aunt Scarlett

a sweet little white dress from when I was a baby

This curtain isn't staying. I'm still looking for a pale yellow cotton print to make a panel for the window.

So that's Little Bird's nest as it is for the moment. Can't wait to get it all finished up!

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Wait... What?

okay, so life with a newborn/infant/almost 7 week old isn't easy. wait... nobody said it was? how could i have missed that? Actually, I didn't... it used to drive me crazy when people said, "enjoy your sleep, the peace and quiet, and time to yourself now, because once the baby comes, it's all over" with that smug little, 'i know something you don't know' look on their face, and a little giggle almost to themselves as if they had waged a war at some point and come out victorious and much wiser on the other side. It was then followed up by a quick, "but they are totally worth it" and I wondered if they were trying to convince me or themselves of that fact. I hated when people said that. They made having a baby sound like the choosing to have a child was equivalent to a bad toothache followed by a root canal, followed by a week long hangover. Okay, maybe not that bad, but rough going nonetheless.


The first few weeks, Little Bird slept, ate, pooped, slept, ate. a.lot. My nights were spent awake, and that made sense, but I assumed that by 4 weeks or so, something would change. She would sleep more and eat less during the night, start self-soothing more, and semi-entertaining herself some so I could do a few things around the house. W.R.O.N.G. She has gotten consistently worse. Last night I slept for 23 minutes total. Jason got about 45 probably, and Jolie got about 3 hours. That's when she wasn't eating every 1 1/2 hours, and screaming her head off the rest of the time. I don't know what's going on, but for the past 3 days, she's been what I deem "colicky", screaming .screaming. for no reason for minutes at a time. She'll go from perfectly content, interacting and making faces at me, to her face turning beet red and legs and arms locked out tight, with a noise coming out of her little lungs that is so high pitched at times only the dogs can hear it, and I know this because Mr. Butler will look at me with a pained expression and go sit at the door to be let out (25 degrees outside or not). I'm typing this up during a lull, but her legs have started kicking so I know the storm is about to rear its ugly head at any moment. I didn't know colic had a late-onset type, from everything I've read it tends to start subsiding by 6 weeks, not gearing up (maybe I'm not reading the right stuff). And this is right at the time I'm supposed to go back to work. Today was actually supposed to be my first day back, but I postponed it till Monday to hopefully buy some time to let this little fit work it's way out (in the name of Jesus, Amen). I don't know if this crying is caused by something I am eating and passing on to her that doesn't agree with her tummy, but I've cut out almost everything and have been eating bland prison food like water and bread for the past several days, so I don't know what much more I could do from that end....
Jason called and made a doctor's appointment for her for later this afternoon just to make sure it's nothing serious. I couldn't call because every time I picked the phone up, she would let out a holler that would frighten the crows, so talking to anybody on the phone was out of the question. Although I'm sure I could have just held the phone up to Jolie, and they would have scheduled me an appointment with no words being exchanged. My conversation with Jason went as follows:
Me: Please call...
Me: the...
Jason: what? I can't hear you... is she screaming?
Me: doctor
Jason: should we take her to the doctor?

Okay, so maybe it didn't go exactly that way, but it was close. The screaming part though? dead.on.

I'm hoping it's just gas, they'll give me some gas drops, and we'll be on our merry way, and she will sleep through the night, and be back to her cheerful, happy self in the morning (in Jesus name, Amen). At this point, if she's not eating or sleeping, she is in my arms and we are walking. walking. walking. If I stop walking or put her down, here comes the noise. Bless her.

I have a baby, and so now 'i know something you don't know" too, and now I can shake my head and smile a little when I come across another soon-to-be mother and just tell her to enjoy her sleep, peace and quiet, and time to herself while she can, because "trust me" once the baby comes, it's all over. I also know and promise, that your child will make nights shorter, make you feel a little . a lot . insane, and wring every last drop of love out of your heart and they are totally, and absolutely worth it. Every last sleep deprived second, day 4 of no shower, 16 piles of dirty laundry, no food in the house because you can't get to the grocery store, bewildered looks between yourself and your husband, frustrated spells (there have been quite a few), and memory loss, W.O.R.T.H. I.T. (and I'm not just trying to convince myself, haha)

peek-a-boo. i see you little girl. and you are the most precious thing in my life.