She Has My Whole Heart...

I love surprises. Birthday parties, Christmas presents, anniversary trips, things like that.... and a good surprise engagement story will melt my heart like butter every time.

Over November 18-19, I received the surprise of my life. Friday the 18th started off like any other (cue the whimsical music, and fade in), Jason happened to have the day off so he went with me to my twice a week Doctors appointment for my blood pressure check and non-stress test for Little Bit. I had been going to these appointments twice a week for the past month. Each time, they checked me and the baby, and determined that although my BP was high, they felt safe enough to let the pregnancy continue until the risk of continuing outweighed the benefits of waiting. However, they told us to be prepared, that at any time they could make the call to induce. Because they had been sending me home each time for the past month, when we went in Friday we assumed that that time would be the same. We went in and the nurse checked my BP and it read 150/90. She then said, Well, we're not going to do the NST today, we'll probably do something else. She then walked us back to the exam room, and told us to sit tight for the Doctor to come in and talk to us. Jason and I just sat there wondering what kind of other test they were going to do since they weren't doing the non-stress test. Well Dr. Little comes through the door and starts talking about the dangers of high blood pressure in pregnancy and all the side effects that it could cause to me and the baby. She then proceeds to say, so I think today is the day we need to make the call to go ahead and make plans to have this baby. Jason and I immediately look at each other, kind of dazed like, and I asked, "so, maybe induce Monday or Tuesday then?", and she said, "Oh no, we need to get this baby out a.s.a.p, we need to do this tonight." Holy Cow, it's kind of funny how surprised we were seeing as we had been told to be prepared for this for a month and half.

So as we are wrapping our heads around the fact that we were going to be parents soon, Jason heads to the house to get his and baby's bag, that had been packed, but not put in the car. I head over to labor and delivery to get started on the paperwork (fun!). I was walking around on a semi-cloud, because even though I knew we were having a baby, I didn't feel like I was having a baby. No contractions, no broken water, none of the stuff to know that I was in labor, and would soon be holding my baby on the outside instead of inside.

Apparently, that weekend was the most popular weekend of the year to have a baby because there was no room at the inn, meaning they didn't have any beds available to put me in, so I had to go sit in the waiting room with all the families who were waiting on their bundles of joy to arrive. Jason finally blew through the doors with all 50 of our bags, and there we sat for about 30 more minutes. A room eventually became available, come to find out we "stole" one from a mom-to-be who was ahead of us, but we were triaged to her room due to my preeclampsia issue. The l&d nurse got me all hooked up to the monitors, and gave me a pill around 8 that was going to "get things started" The plan was to get things rolling, and then they would give me pitocin Saturday morning, and hopefully we would have a baby by Saturday evening.

Once I was given the pill I started having contractions, and although they were uncomfortable, they weren't painful... I was like, man if this is as bad as it gets, "I've got this". I've had two bouts of kidney stones in the past, so I went into the labor thing with this big idea that I'd been through that kind of pain in the past, and the contractions I was feeling weren't that bad, so I had an overinflated sense that "HEY! maybe I can do this without the drugs...." Then, Dr. Little came back in to break my water. At that time she says, "the contractions will get noticeably stronger." That woman is a liar!! Within two minutes it felt like my insides were being turned inside out and I was hollering for the epidural! The anesthesiologist came in and hooked me up to the drugs, the problem was, it only took on my right side. My left side still felt like it was being screwed to a wall. He came back in about 30 minutes later and had to redo it, and the pain finally started to fade on my left side as well, thank you Jesus! Jason was probably pretty thankful too, because although I hate to admit it, I definitely would have been one of those laboring mothers who is jerking her husband by the collar screeching "you did this to me, I hate you!" haha. So again I say, thank you Jesus for modern medicine!

Well, the nurse came back to check me around 5 am, and was shocked to see that I had dilated to an 8 cm, would not be needing the pitocin, and would be pushing within the next hour or two. Jason quickly started calling family to let them know. By 7:30 I was at a 10 and had started pushing. I've always been under the impression that when you are having a baby with an epidural, you just kind of push, and there's the baby. No real work involved. HA! I don't know where I got that idea, but good thing I'm not a betting woman, because I would have lost my shirt on that one. I only pushed for 45 mins, but each time I just knew my head was about to blow off my neck. Thank goodness it didn't because that would have just added a whole other level of mess I wouldn't have been prepared to deal with.

Well, Handsome and my mom coached me to push one more time, and then there she was. SHE. we have a daughter. Since Jason and I didn't find out the gender of the baby, that was the second surprise in 24 hours, and it was the best, most beautiful, heart stopping, life changing surprise. They put her up on my chest, and I got one good look at her before they took her away because she wasn't catching her breath immediately, and they had to work on her for a few minutes. But in that moment, I was forever changed. When I heard that first reedy cry, my breath stopped, and I understood in that moment, what "they" mean when they say, that "deciding to have a child is to decide to forever after have your heart go walking around outside your body." For the rest of my life, my heart belongs to a dark haired beauty with big, bright eyes. I don't know where her life will take her, or what plans God has for her, but I do know that her daddy and I will always be her biggest fans. She will always be the love of our lives, and we will love her with our whole hearts until the end of time.

So that's our delivery story, minus a few details that are better left unwritten about. For the record, labor and delivery is not pain free, elegant, and/or a clean event. And whatever modesty you may feel, is soon gone right out the window.

But trust me.... it is also the most awe-inspiring, overwhelmingly beautiful moment that life can offer. Children are a gift from God. A miracle in its purest form.

Joliet Parker Marrow.... our joy, our happiness, our heartbeat, our miracle.