Wednesday, October 20, 2010

My Prayer Journal 10/20/2010

There has been a lot of things pressing on my heart for some time now. Not bad things, just heavy things. I woke up this morning with a realization that those "things" were shadowed by the desire to deepen my relationship with God. To my discredit, I've always been the person to shy away from the "Bible thumpers." And if I'm completely honest, and has hateful as it sounds, the people who constantly spew scripture in daily conversation, get on my nerves. But again, if I'm honest, maybe it's jealousy that makes me be so negative about people like that. Maybe I'm jealous of the light that shines through them. The way that they seem at peace about everything. The peace- that's what I'm jealous of. And not the kind of harmony that you feel after a spa treatment, or waking up after a good nights sleep, I mean the deep seated peace that you feel when you know God has your back. When everything is your life is upside down and sideways, and you feel calm in your heart, because you KNOW that "this too shall pass." I decided to start keeping a prayer journal. And at least look at it every day. Some things may move around in priority on the list, some prayers will never change, but I think if I can put down on paper the desires of my heart, it will help me to connect with Him in a way that has been lacking thus far. I'm a touch/experience learner. I may be able to look at something a thousand times, hear it a thousand times, but if I don't write it down or do it, i'll never really get it. I'm hoping that by writing this "wish list" to God, that it will help me prioritize the desires i have for my life, and thus deepen the most important relationship in my life.


Keep those that I love safe, healthy, & happy, and help them to find the same peace in You that I struggle with.

Help me to be the best wife, daughter, sister, friend (hopefully, one day mother) that I know You have blessed me with the capabilities to be.

Help Jason and me open our hearts, home and marriage to You so that You pervade every aspect of our relationship.

Help us to find a church of good, honest, humble people, where we feel welcome, loved, and cherished.

Help me to accept our limitations- help me to not burden myself, my husband, or our marriage with unrealistic expectations and desires for monetary and materialistic items.

Speak to my heart about the direction I should be going- give me peace and answers about my career path.

Help me to be positive, motivate and give me courage to fulfill my dreams

Help me to give to others who have not & give back to those that have given to me- help me to do this for the sake of giving in your name only

Bless me with healthy, strong, wonderful children who will know You all of their lives.

Silence the demons, angers, frustrations, depressions that I feel from time to time that take away, shadow, or banish the JOY in my life.

Help me to feel in my heart and soul the beauty of sunrises, sunsets, rainbows, even on cloudy days.

Help me to keep Your name on my lips every moment of every day.

Help me to be open to doing Your will.

Bless me with friends that will encourage me, that will stand as examples, flaws and all.

Help me become a portrait of a Godly, compassionate, dignified, strong, approachable, woman. "help me become worth more than rubies."

Help me to honor You, so that I may be honored by You.

Liberate me of my fears, give me peace in my heart.

Help me be the strong, supportive, loving wife of the man that you blessed me with as my husband, may you help him be the same for me.

Lead me beside calm waters, bless me with the things I need, should I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, help me to know no fear. Restore my soul.

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