Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Day 10: Bee Charmer
Day 10: Goals
I'm glad nobody is holding me to this "30 Days" thing, cause I'd be in some kind of trouble if they were.
This is going to be more like a bucket list rather than simply goals....
I have a ton of things I want to accomplish in my life before the good Lord calls me home.
As a Christian, my greatest wish should be to be sitting at the feet of our everlasting Father, surrounded by His heavenly saints and angels.... and that is of course, my ultimate "goal," but I'm just selfish, and human enough to want to be there, after a full, happy, life well-lived. But who knows really what that means anyway? If I am called home today, I would be okay with that too.... I believe the choices I have made for my life have put me right where I'm meant to be... and knowing and accepting that, is a life well lived in my book.
1. Become a mother... and watch my children grow, prosper, be happy, accept & know our God all their lives. This is a two birds with one stone kinda thing, because I want to give my husband children and my parents grandchildren!
2. A friend recently told me that one of the prayers for her life would be to have a glimpse of Heaven, but without all the scary stuff that usually accompanies those types of experiences. I feel that some days, I have seen glimpses of Heaven. When I see striking, color filled sunset, or sunrise. When I have had a good, long, soul cleansing cry and prayer time and my soul just feels so fresh and so clean... but I know what she means. A truly awe-inspiring, miraculous glimpse of where God lives outside my heart. Paradise. Yeah, I'd like to see that too.... ("glimpse" is the key word here... for those of you not listening! ;-)
3. I'd love to find my true niche in life. What am I supposed to be doing?? Am I doing it, but don't even realize it? I am thankful for each and every blessing in my life. Again, I believe that any choice I have made in the past has been utilized by God to put me right where I am supposed to be, and even if I am discontented in a current position, I am there for.a.reason. But I'd love to wake up one morning, and just have the satisfaction of loving where I am in my life. This really pertains to my job folks, I am truly happy in every other aspect.
3. That being said... I would love to be a children's photographer... But I am having to teach myself everything... and it can be overwhelming and daunting, most of the time. Also, everybody out there with a digital camera is a "photographer" these days, and that is intimidating also. How do I break through that and establish myself in a flooded market when I'm not all that much better (yet!!!) than the competition? It's nerve wracking sometimes.
4. Also, I've always had an obsession with pretty papers... stationary, note cards, sticky note pads... If it's pretty, i love it. I have kept literally every card, invitation, and thank you note I have ever received. I would love to design a set of paper products fashioned with vintage and eclectic graphics. I have several that I have put together... but am really too nervous to show anybody. Also, I don't know where to start finding a printing source in order to produce my products that is not so expensive I price myself out of the market I'm going for. The goal here? Design, produce, and effectively market a suit of paper products that reflect my love of color and vintage design.
5. Carry my dog Mr. Butler around in my purse on Rodeo Dr. like I'm somebody (and have him Not poop in it)
6. GET OUR HOUSE TO REFLECT WHO WE ARE AS A COUPLE. Before I'm dead or so old and crotchety I can no longer hold a paint brush. This is a biggie, and probably the easiest of my goals in terms of labor and actual method. However, I cannot seem to pin down the exact look I am going for in terms of color. Some days I'd love to paint everything turquoise and chartreuse, and other days I want everything white and creams... finding a balance between these, and making sure Handsome can live there happily too? That is a biggie.
7. A garden. I want one. Why? “Because that's what Southern women do – we wear funny looking hats and grow things in the dirt" Favorite move line e.v.e.r I also love the idea of producing and eating my own food. I think this day in age, people depend too much on things other than themselves... And while I don't plan on making my own clothes, and start walking everywhere, gardening is great way to really take pride in the accomplishment of something you've done. I'd love to eventually have a green house, but I'll settle for a patch of earth that will grow tomatoes, squash, and beans. I'm starting my seedlings tomorrow, and hopefully this weekend, Handsome and I can get outside with the tractor and start tilling up our packed down red, Georgia clay, and start preparing the ground for growth. Will definitely be blogging about that adventure!
8. Become a Bee Charmer. I have had a private, life long obsession with bees, Honeybees to be exact. Although I don't like when they fly so close to my face that I can see my reflection their eyeballs, I'm not one to freak out and start swatting at them when they buzz by for a closer look. I would love to have a set of hives and cultivate the honey. Besides Ouiser Boudreaux in Steel Magnolias, one of my other favorite characters is Idgie Threadgoode the tom boy, free-spiritited, bee charmer in Fried Green Tomatoes.
9. Travel. I want to travel with my husband, and experience worlds outside our own existence. I am incredibly lucky to have been able to travel way past the county line before I was 20 years old. I've been all over the United States, and have been to the Bahamas, France, Spain, Italy, Austria, and Germany. I've seen other cultures, ways of life, ideas, values, and customs. I've seen sunrises and sunsets over places other than Emerson, Georgia. I have breathed in the air, swam in the waters, eaten and drunk things that are different from what I've always known. I haven't stayed at these places long, but long enough to see and appreciate that there is a great wide world out there... and I want more of it.
10. Lead at least one person to Christ. I don't necessarily feel that entails knocking on people's doors, or "preaching" to people about how they are not living a Godly life and are bound for Hell... I mean, maybe that's what it takes sometimes, but that has often turned me off in the past. I want to live a life that is for Christ, that is open to Him, and one where He can use me so that others may know of His goodness and glory. I want to be a light in the world.
11. I want to learn how to sew. Although I don't have the time it takes to sew my own clothes, I'd love to know how to do it. Sometimes I go shopping with a particular clothing item in mind, I can either a) never find anything close to it or b) it never look exactly like what I want it to. It'd would be so awesome if I could just go home and "whip a little something together." So when people ask about it, I could say, "what? this old thing?" haha. just kidding... maybe.
12. Learn to dance. Not the stuff people call "dancing" these days. That stuff is generally vulgar and disgusting. And if you turned the music off, you would really look extremely ridiculous. I want to learn how to ballroom dance, and salsa dance. Those types of dancing are beautiful. You could turn the music off, and still be moved by it.
13. Take up a ballet class as a form of exercise, poise, agility, and strength training. Somebody in C'ville should start an exercise ballet class.
14. Learn to speak another language fluently. I was almost there in college... had I pursued it and used it a bit more, I could probably be pretty dern good at Italian by now. But you don't use it, you lose it, and that's the case with il mio utilizzo italiana (my Italian usage). Would love to get it back.
15. Recycle more. We only have one life to live. And until they set up condos on Mars, we also have only one Place to live. Gotta take care of what we have been entrusted with.
16. Learn to be more forgiving and less sensitive.
17. Take a survival course that teaches you how to live off the land, (with the less is more approach), and be more aware of your surroundings. At some point in my life, I would like to take this a step further, and "live off the grid" for a time. The wilds of Montana has been calling our names for awhile now...
18. I know that true peace will never happen on Earth. The majority of humans don't truly understand or accept the concept of peace... they (we?) are too selfish for that... but I would love to live long enough to see some sort of peace in the world.
19. Be involved in a mission. I would love to bring the Gospel to a foreign soil, but hope to be at peace with it, if God decides to use me in my own community.
20. Dry our sheets and clothes on a clothesline in my backyard. Silly? maybe. Something I've always wanted to do? yes. May have to get Jason to string that line up this weekend....
21. Buy some Tom's Shoes. I think they are pretty much ugly as a mud fence, but I get a new pair of footwear, and so does someone else in the world. Win!
22. Be debt free at an early age. J and I are pretty economical with our money. We still enjoy our lives and doing things, but we aren't a slave to our possessions. We don't have credit card debt, we are making plans to lower our car payment, and we are putting more than the average into our 401k. Would love to be able to buy/pay off the house, and become truly debt free before age 40.... we'll see.
23. Get a new hair cut. This seems like a silly goal, but I have been growing my hair out for about 2 years now. Always with the intention of cutting and donating it in honor of my mom's battle with cancer. I just haven't done it yet. And although I'm grateful for my hair.... it is driving me crazy. It's everywhere. It gets wrapped around my face when I sleep; It gets wrapped around J's face when he sleeps. I wake up half suffocated with it tied around my neck. I.can't.take.it.anymore. Making that appointment today....
24. Learn to cook... and like it. I am not a cook. It doesn't come naturally at all. And when I've tried to "wing it" in the past, and just throw in a dash of this and that, it came off completely inedible. On a good day, I'll only scrape half the food off of J's plate.... on the bad days, the dogs won't even eat it.
25. Become less of a homebody. I like being at home. I really and truly do. I like moving from my bed, to the couch, to the chair on the deck, back to the couch, to my bed. I'm the friend my friends always rolled their eyes at, and complained I was such a bore. Don't get me wrong, I love to go out with friends, and have drinks, and a good time, but I also like to be at home in my pj's by 10:30... I would like to do less of that, maybe... and enjoy being OUT more.
26. Go on a cross country road trip. I did this once with my best friend. It was the summer between 7th and 8th grade. We road out with her dad, and sister and her friend to California to pick up a horse. We spent the majority of the road trip hanging out in the living quarters of the horse trailer, which was probably illegal, and more than slightly dangerous, but I think her dad could only take so much of "are we there yet" from 4 tweens. Watching the world go by from the bunkhouse of the trailer, we saw way more of where we had been than where we were going. Would love to do that again. But not in a horse trailer, but definitely with my best friend!
27. Make my mark on the world. This is a biggie, and I have absolutely no idea how I will accomplish this one. Or even if I will. I think people's obsession with the rich, and famous, is not so much the rich part, but the famous part. And what that really means. It means they won't be forgotten. It means they made a mark. However good or infamous one is, if they are known throughout the world, they will continue to be known throughout the world. I think I have a fear of being forgotten when I am gone. That's a big thing for me to admit. But there it is.
28. Help the homeless in my community. Every time I see somebody wrapped up in crusty, dirty, old blankets under random bridges, my eyes well up with tears and I feel incredibly guilty about my life. I will almost always give extra cash or change I have to a begger on the street. I don't have any problems with that. Some people say I shouldn't do that because they will just go buy drugs or booze with it, but my thinking is, I give with an open heart, what they do with the money is between them and God. I heard from a friend about a woman who puts together little "hygiene pack" for the homeless and she carries a few with them in her car all the time. They contain socks, a toothbrush, toothpaste, a bottle of water, travel aspirin, washcloth, bar of soap, vitamin c tablets, hand sanitizer, comb, rubber bands, high protein bars, a pack of cards, a few pieces of paper for letters, and stamped envelopes, and a $5 bill. These would cost a little bit of money to get together, but I could only imagine how grateful I would be if I received one of these little packs if I had nowhere to go, and most people passed me on by without so much as a second glance, much less a little bit of help, and room in their prayers at night.
29. Surprise my parents with a ____? I have no idea. Something fun and unexpected. Gotta think about that one!
30. Surprise my Husband with a bright red Dump truck with chrome side panels. On our first day and from time to time in between, he's told me he's always wanted a dump truck to drive around... must be the little kid in him? I'd like to get him one.
31. Become an aunt to my brother's kids. He's 21, not married, no girlfriend, and totally living the life of a 21 year old boy. That's okay. I want him to. But I also want him to marry a nice, sweet girl, who adores and loves him, from a good family, who will give me nieces and nephew to love and spoil.
32. Have a small retreat somewhere in the mountains. (Must include a bubbling brook.)
33. See in concert, the following, not necessarily together (but that would be so cool), Bob Seger, Elton John, and Van Morrison, before they die.
34. Be a grandma... so I can love 'em up, feed them tons of crap that's bad for their teeth and their energy level, and then send them home to their parents.
35. Stand inside of a Redwood tree before they are gone. I'm pretty sure I've done this with my parents when I was a kid, but I'd like to do it again, and remember it.
36. Buy back the family property in Brunswick that has our Family cemetery on it, then rebuild the house for reunions and getaways.
37. Learn about my dad's family. We have literally overload information on my mom's side, but I know very little about my dad's people. Knowing "where" and "who" I came from is very important to me.
38. Get our sailboat Cirrus in the water, and sail her to Margaritaville.
39. Do something completely out of character, and maybe even illegal (eeek!!), like I don't know... wipe my muddy feet on the carpet in the oval office, spitting out my gum to where Queen Elizabeth walks on it and it gets stuck to her shoe, cheat on my taxes (but not get caught!), You know... stick it to tha' man! actually... I'm feel a panic attack coming on just thinking about these things... nevermind.
40. Go camping in every State park in Georgia, and then move on from there...
41. Raise our children in the same house and on the same land where my brother and I were raised. It's perfect for children. It's safe, secluded, and full of sweet memories. Memories from my childhood, and memories that my husband and I are creating there now. I hope and PRAY that it's in God's plans for us.
42. Eat more fiber.
43. Learn to be happy in the moment. I love plans. I love planning things, and the excitement that builds up to the next occasion. I often find myself saying, "I can't wait till Saturday" or "I can't wait till 5 o'clock" (okay, I will probably always want it to be 5 o'clock!), or "I can't wait till _____" <--- fill in the blank with any of the possible millions of things that I find myself wishing away time for. I want to learn to revel in the moment, to leave the excitement of tomorrow in tomorrow... and be excited for the today. To not wish my time away to hurry up to the next big event in my life, but to really and truly love the here and now. Okay, I could go on and on, but my eyes are starting to cross, and I'm getting a headache from thinking about this. In case you didn't deduce this for yourself, I have A LOT I want to do in my life, with my life. But I am grateful for each and every breath I have been given, and will count myself extremely lucky and blessed for each and every breath I will be given.
ps- If you hear of some tour where Van, Elton, & Bob are going to be performing live, in concert, & together! buy me a ticket... I'll pay you back. fo' rillz.